"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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