HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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