I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
