I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
