the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
