I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
