I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize