chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I smell stomach acid.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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