Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
