I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
