Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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