Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
