you win again, gameday.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
