Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
