i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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