Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
