finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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