so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
