I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
