john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
