Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
