is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
