Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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