Nicole vs. Life
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
