she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize