Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
