Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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