just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
