you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
