She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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