Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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