It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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