i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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