And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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