its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Soap is not a condiment
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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