Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
did i just pee glitter
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
