We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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