Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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