why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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