Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize