I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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