My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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