so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
