where am i from again
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
