She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
either way he was missing a nipple.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
