dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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