my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
