You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize