I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
