I've blown a few things in my day
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
