We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
