Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
