i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
