Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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