But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
