2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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