Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
