so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
sarcasm needs its own font
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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