just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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