Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
they need to just BURY HIM!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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