a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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