Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
