she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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