hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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