morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
