Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
