We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
