I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
