Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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