She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
