Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
