If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
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