Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
